We had a lovely, but busy weekend. I've been working on several home projects and the latter part of the week I dove in full force to try to get a few more done before the jewelry party I was having Friday evening. There was a nice turnout, the pretties were fabulous, and the company was terrific. Saturday was filled with the celebration of my sister in law, Megan. She is getting married in a couple months and her wedding shower and bachlorette party took place. With that Marc's mom, grandma, dad, and step mom were also here for a visit. This morning was filled with a church meeting and service. The boys enjoyed the opportunity to have some quality daddy time, as did Marc. He is such a sweet daddy. Saturday morning he had the boys outside playing, I look out the window and he is pushing the lawn mower and pulling the boys behind him in the radioflyer wagon. I opened the door to ask him what he was doing and he said something along the lines of I wanted to mow, but the boys won't want me to so I am pulling them in the wagon. Ethan and Aaron were laughing and asking for more...the ride to continue that is! I so wish I had thought to take a picture.
I'm loving life lately. Don't take me the wrong way life is not perfect, but the fog seems to have lifted. I eluded to this in a recent post, but I honestly believe that I dealt with depression for the better part of the last two years. Praise God for healing! With that clarity it has lead me to think a lot about people who deal with mental health issues. Being that this was not the first time I had dealt with depression and that it was the longest it had ever lasted for me., my heart breaks for those that struggle with chemical imbalances and mental health illnesses. Although small in comparison to those individual's battles, I find myself fearing the darkness ever seeping back in. With these thoughts, I also start to wonder how much was under my control and how much was physical health.. As a psychology major, I understand the biology of depression. Yet, as a Christian I question is there something I could have done sooner to embrace God, move past the depression, and back to a life of contentment. I hate that depression causes me to feel so separated from God, so isolated, and so lets be honest, selfish.
The messages at church, conversations with friends, marriage counseling, women's retreat preparation, missions planning, and inspirational blogs have all allowed God to speak to me recently. I have new energy...as a mother, as a wife, and as a servant of God. I want to shout to the roof tops declaring Gods love for each of us. I know some of you will read this and think heck with depression, this girl is now certifiably crazy. I say I am heck with the mediocrity. If God can be so good as to wash away not only my sadness, but all my sins then I need to live extravagantly for him! I need to remember as a dear friend said in his message at church today, "Living a safe Christian life is the most dangerous thing you can do. The safest thing you can do is to live a risky life for Christ." My thoughts need to be more focused on the hereafter as opposed to the distractions that I get caught up in every day and my words as well as my actions need to be teaching that to my children as well. In taking the example from another friend, Jennifer, I ask those of you who are reading this to help me be accountable. Feel free to ask me about how things are going.
The boys will be up and ready to read, play, and embrace another day before I know it. So I am going to wrap up for tonight. That and I am sure you have had enough of my ramblings for now, but I leave you with a line or two from a song that really moved me today.
"I know I'm filled to be emptied again. This seed I've been given I'll sow." - The Desert Song, Hillsong http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY
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